Thursday, July 12, 2012

Rabid Squee: Wanted

Neal Caffrey: Never met a haberdasher he didn't like.
Simply put: Best. Premiere. Ever.
Action. Romance. Shirtlessness. Intrigue. Shirtlessness.

I had to watch it twice just to get all my squees in order. My only complaint (well, I have one or two more, see below), is that it was so short. If ever we loyal fans deserved a two-hour premiere, this was the time.
On with the squee!

Our boys, apart: That shot of Peter alone in Neal's empty apartment was a heartbreaker. And Neal – despite being in a tropical locale, in a villa on the beach, trying to make time with a total hotty (seriously, Mia Maestro is gorgeous) – he’s suffering, man. Otherwise, how’s he have the time to “forge” a Matisse, a Vermeer, a Dali, the Mona Lisa… island life is not all that exciting, clearly. (Note to the producers/writers: the Mona Lisa was painted on a wooden panel; my offer to proof your stuff for free still stands.)
The hug: So nice, I've got to include it twice...
Yeah, Neal, we think he smells nice, too.
Aww, Peter: He’s so in lurve.
But seriously, his loyalty to Neal is so wonderful and satisfying to see – the bromance lives! His talk with Ellen was fraught with emotion and, dammit, it was just so dusty in my house… Watching him, Diana and Jones do that voodoo that they do so well was as fun as ever (and they didn’t have Neal's help – he’d be so proud). But Peter was amazingly careless here, leaving his shrine-de-Neal at his house, and it’s a bit out of character. Or maybe just naïve? Let’s hope he gets some of his own back in the next episode.

Tim DeKay: Emoting like a mofo. Why isn't this man polishing an Emmy?

Aww, Peter 2: Peter and El on stakeout. El really is the best wife ever to bring Peter deviled ham sandwiches. And Ellen.

May I take a moment to bash Agent Collins? If this character were any more cliché-ridden, he’d be twirling his mustache. I don’t know who to pin more blame on, the writers’ lack of imagination or Mekhi Phifer’s one-note portrayal. And don’t get me started on the resources the FBI appears to be willing to spend on finding a non-violent criminal who’s lammed it so far out of their jurisdiction it takes four planes to get there. Kramer must have a large budget.
And aren’t there, like, terrorists or murderers or something that our government ought to be spending its collective resources on finding? Instead they're what – renditioning hot conmen? I. Am just. Saying. I mean, I’d do it, but it wouldn’t be to bring him to justice…

Quotes of the Week:
Peter: “Ellen, if anything were to happen to him, I don’t think I could live with it.”
Ach, the emotion in Tim DeKay’s voice when he delivers this line… my ovaries are still weeping.

Neal: “A hard beginning maketh a good ending.”
I’ll take obscure 16th centuryEnglish playwrights for $1000, Alex!
Collins: “(Agent Kramer) shed quite a bit of light on your relationship with Caffrey.”
If ever a slasher wanted some ammunition…

Maya: “Your open book’s a work of fiction.”
Wow – Maya’s pegged Neal pretty accurately.

Moz: “Contrary to popular opinion, I do not have the compassion of Jesus.”
I beg to differ, Moz, and after Checkmate, I think Elizabeth would agree with me.
Hey, thanks for hanging in for the end of the article - here's some bonus
shirtless Matt Bomer. I have never wanted to be a bar of soap more.

Recipe of the Week – Mozzie’s Mimosa
5 ounces Champagne or other sparkling wine
1 orange

Pour champagne into flute. Wave orange over it. There’s your Vitamin C.

So what did you think, Collars? Best premiere ever? What were you squeeing over?


Anonymous said...

I just loved the opening! Two complaints: Mozzie's snark at Peter about him & Collins. How many times does Peter have to save Neal before Mozz stops including Peter in his paranoid diatribe against the government.
Peter was nearly in tears begging Ellen to help him find Neal. His feelings for his partner/friend right up front. Except for the hug Neal, nada. Let's have a bit more emotion regarding Peter from Neal.
I agree about Collins & Kramer is just as bad. How these two can slip past the FBI's most wanted is beyond me.

Anonymous said...

I loved it, a lot of fun and next week I think will be even better. I thought Neal's emotions were bang on in this. The only times he lets others see him unguarded is in extreme situations. Kate's death, almost shooting Fowler, Peter's poisoning and kidnapping. That gradual smile during the hug was perfect, and a bit sad, he's not used to loyalty.

Ellen and Peter were very interesting to watch. In a strange way they play similar roles in Neal's life. They are not his family per say, but they have both played that part far better than his actual family. They also recognize Neal's value as well as his weaknesses. I'm really interested to hear Ellen's backstory.

Anonymous said...

I liked your review but I would add this quote:

Ellen to Peter: Protect our boy.

rabidchild67 said...

@Anon 4:24: WORD!

Anonymous said...

Loved your Squee and yes Wanted is the best season opener ever! It is now one of my favorite episodes.